This Simpering ......Female......

A MOMENT IN LIFE WILL ONLY BE REMEMBERED IF YOU ACTIVELY REMEMBER IT. UNLESS AN EVENT IS TRAGIC OR SHOCKING OR OTHERWISE LIKELY TO BURN ITSELF INTO YOUR BRAIN, YOU WILL ONLY RECALL IT THROUGHOUT YOUR WHOLE LIFE IF YOU DO SO MULTIPLE TIMES. THE MORE OFTEN YOU THINK ABOUT A MEMORY, THE STRONGER AND LONGER IT STAYS WITH YOU. 

SO… IF YOU WANT TO REMEMBER YOUR MEMORY - IN AS MUCH DETAIL, WITH AS MANY OF YOUR SENSES AS POSSIBLE - JUST REMEMBER TO REMEMBER IT MORE OFTEN.

Bank of America sent me a survey asking how my call to customer service went. Here’s how I responded….

“Cassandra, whom I last spoke to on the phone, did a great job of handling me yelling at her. Unfortunately, she could do nothing about the fact that B of A - without ANY email or phone notice - stopped my temp ATM card ON CHRISTMAS. She told me it was an automated shut down and I should’ve received my new card by now. Well, only a corporation that doesn’t care about its customers would set up an automated system that would leave someone without access to their own money ON CHRISTMAS, without even bothering to automate a warning email days in advance. The USPS obviously failed to deliver my new card, but the carelessness and indifference of B of A is a far more disturbing issue in my mind. I have been a solid customer since 1999 despite semi-frequent nonsense from your bank, but at some point I can’t stay with you anymore. In short, Cassandra was great and I feel bad blaming her for the failures of the company she has to work for.”

CLINT EASTWOOD SHOULD’VE LEARNED FROM MILLION DOLLAR BABY - FIGHTING A CHAIR CAN KILL YOU.

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There are 934 Paula Dixons in the US white pages (although I’m not sure how so many parents hated their daughters), and one of these Paula Dixons is a pot head…. OK, at least one of them is a pot head. But the particular pot head for whom this email was intended is NOT the Paula Dixon who received it…. Although I do wish the author the best of luck on his pot trip.

———————-

Dear friends I love more (D—, K——, Paula),

I had always been resistant to weed because blah idk, but I actually have been more interested in like legit hallucinogens. Partially because they are scarier/seem more like harrowing events than necessarily getting high—the difference in phrasing of “tripping” versus “high” is cool and possibly telling. The connotation of going on a trip has like socks and car mats and multiple stages and rest stops and pigeon worlds. Trips are multivocal in not entirely pleasant ways. That’s cool. I like to go on trips.

If appealing to connotations of words isn’t good enough there is also this very good Sam Harris article that seems good enough a reason to try various hallucinogens:

http://www.samharris.org/blog/item/drugs-and-the-meaning-of-life

I’m like kind of Buddhist enough to accept all of his arguments wholesale, right?

The fact that he says they have the potential to be very scary kind of makes them more interesting. Obviously I don’t like to suffer but for some reason my brain is wary of pleasure without at least the risk of suffering. I also like that they are inherently resistant to habit forming—in the words of R—-: “I’ve gotten all I have to get from acid, so I stopped.” That’s cool. Man, R—- is so cool. Also I think there is maybe something important here somewhere. Like ego death and the ability to live in even a somewhat tenuous communion with the universe. That kinda stuff. I like that kinda stuff.

I’m pretty sure Paula has the most experience (unless you guys are hiding shit from me) and K—— has talked about wanting to try various substances before, D— idk, but there generally seems interest so I thought I would make it explicit.

But anyways, I’m saying we should like trip, or whatever the kids are calling it these days, sometime together. Thanksgiving break is coming up, although I don’t necessarily mean then. I basically mean whenever, and just wanted to float it out there because I like you 3 more than other people and I would like to spelunk the interiors of my mind with you guys.

Also my experience with these things is entirely based on Wikipedia so I am being deliberately vague and partially relying on the more experienced here.

To be clear, I suppose I am talking about the drugs Sam Harris references the most and are kind of classical hallucinogens, i.e, LSD, mushrooms possibly DMT and mescaline. Those are really the only four I am currently interested in/ have partially read the wiki pages for hahaa.

Depending on how immediate the interest is, I should say that R—- would be a way of acquiring NARCOTICS or my shady friend Joe, if we were so inclined. You guys may be busy with school or whatever, so idk. You all seem like terribly productive humans. Last time I saw K—— he said he and D— were ALWAYS busy and K—— asked if I was swamped too and I sheepishly said I am, but to be honest I am taking 14 credits, I have basically finished out the Physics/Astro major. I’m just coasting. I just read and masturbate a lot so I’ve got a butt load of time and mind space to dedicate to my own forms of productivity, which is neat though slightly embarrassing when talking to people who work very hard.  

I wonder if the government reads all emails with NARCOTICS in big capital letters.

SOOOO, JUST THROWIN IT OUT THERE

GAUGING YOUR REACTIONS ETC.

MUCH LOVE

SEE YOU GUYS SOON FOR TURKEY

[NAME WITHHELD]

PS: Paula, sorry your date fell through, and nice tattoo.

PPS: I’m just going to attach this because this poem/reading is so good and I don’t have a facebook to shamelessly share shit with:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGIr7fGdo6o&feature=related

Also I think you guys would like John Berryman.

I saw an elderly veteran at the bodega by my house today, and asked him about his service. He said he was in the 29th infantry division, which stormed Omaha Beach (they were lucky, he said, to be in the second wave). He spoke about the honor of serving in WWII, compared to what he sees now. He said, “I still get the magazine of the 29th, and when I see those young boys in Afghanistan in my old uniform, it makes me cry. Just bring them home!” His eyes started to tear up, but when I put my hand on his arm, it seemed to shock him out of his sadness. We talked a bit more, and when I left I said, “Thank you so much for your service, sir.” He responded emphatically, with a fist in the air, “YOU’RE WELCOME!”